Thursday 28 September 2006

And the beat goes on

Ugh. I am supposed to be going to a keep fit class tonight after work. You can tell where this is going though right? I don’t wanna go! I wanna go home and eat cake. Poo.

Anyway. Let’s get over that and move on.

I have had lost of swap post this week. The first was a couple of brooches with are really rather lovely.
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The one on the right is double sided and has a pixie on the back in black and white but for some reason I don’t have a photo of that.

For the second I’m going to take you on a little journey of discovery because it was such fun to discover the contents.
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Then…
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Wait for it…
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Ta da!
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Loads of lush stuff! Lots of papers and things for card making. And then some choc and shower gel and mmmmmm, lovely!

Lastly I’ve had two lists for the list swap.
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One of these was 10 bits of advice. The advice given was so good I didn’t think it was fair to keep it to myself.
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The other was 10 things that make you happy and that is the one with the maple leaf on it. Receiving them definitely made me happy!

The thing is, I have had a bit of a revelation about swaps. What I’ve realised is that they are far too much hassle and why on earth am I bothering? I think I got too excited about the last secret pal and missed the sending and receiving. I spend money buying things to swap and then have to spend twice as much posting them. So I have resigned from all swaps in future other than ATC ones. Because I am pretty hooked on ATCs.

I had loads to think about last night so ended up not going to knitting so I haven’t seen the gals at Golders Green for about 2 months now which is quite distressing. I wonder whether I didn’t go in order to avoid any kind of emotional response because that is what I was talking to therapist Janet about. It’s worse than I thought which worries me, although you wouldn’t know it to look at me. I’m basically suppressing every reaction to things and avoiding all sorts of stuff so as not to have to experience things. Janet was commenting on how I don’t have any wrinkles. She was wondering whether it was because I don’t do facial expressions unless I am overdoing them when overcompensating and playing the fool. The thing is, I just don’t know what to do. How do I learn to react to thing or to learn to react to them without then running away from that reaction? All quite glum making. Could really do with a bar of chocolate. I just realised I’m feeling sad.

3 comments:

Penny said...

Oh Lixie, I'm sorry you're feeling glum.

I'm really commenting to let you know that I've got the proud to be crafty zine. I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but it's here, and it's looking good.

annarella said...

Lixie, I've just got your ezine!!! Thanks so much, I'm going to turn my computer off shortly, make some coffee and veg out on the couch whilst I read it :)

{hugs} x

Woolly Wormhead said...

I got your zine too, and thank you so much for the upbeat review!Like the layout, and the fact that it's hand-made.

Not sure what to say about facing those situations that you always avoid. Think I just went on as usual, making sure I didn't avoid them... might have even put myself in the line of fire. Nowadays, if a downer creeps up and somethings bothering me, I start talking to Tom by saying "got a downer coming on, and I think it's because...." A bit like the steretypical AA thing. Does the job tho.

Have a great weekend and pamper yourself with those goodies xx